In šaʾ Allāh — God willing

June 22, 2007

In šaʾ Allāh — God willing

Life has an interesting way of taking us down paths that we have grown up expecting to do and surprising ourselves with what we are actually doing. I think it is fair to say, that when I woke up today, I did not know what to expect, except to play out the day in a holistic way.

Someone says I am always “waxing philosophical”. It makes me smile from the inside. I can’t help it. It’s who I am. If I were to be the lab rat running around a preconfigured maze — with no true way of ever completing it and finding a way out. I would die from the inside out. I rather die doing something I loved than to die living a life that was a lie. What does that mean?

Settling for the tried and true? or living in a world of unknowns and unseen?

Are you passionate about the things that you do?
Are you passionate about your life?
Are you passionate about today? Droning about tomorrow? Living in the past?
Are you working within your limitations or are you allowing your work to limit you?
At the end of the day, what are limits?
Are they self-prescribed? Culturally derived? Socially inscribed?

I once woke up feeling certain that the day would add a building block to the foundation that I was building — before that day was over, I went to bed in tears and in utter dispair. My world had exploded from inside out. Shattered. Yes. I was. I think we have all experienced this in one form or another. The day you realize that what you expected was not what you were meant to reap. So what do you do?

Do you lay down and cry? Submit to the pain? Fight the loss? Grow bitter and angry? Move on without ever letting go, with ghosts filling up the spaces inbetween? Or do you pick yourself up, absorb the loss, and sort out the pieces that make sense and leave behind the shards to serve as memories of days gone by?

Everyone does a little of everything. But at the end of the day, I think it’s important to realize that when doors close, new doors open. The fear of letting go, is often entrenched in the fear of the unknown. And sometimes, that fear of the unknown can lead to immobilization or settling.

The point of this post is this, don’t be afraid to reach out for what you want. Even if it means standing on a limb. If you fall, you fall knowing you tried. If you grab something, at least you have lived out a dream.

I’m living an unknown dream… I don’t know where I’m going, but I know where I’m coming from. And this is from a place of locating myself in a large world that I call home.

The world is my oyster, I sit not in wait, but move in turn — believing that each step I take is one that will take me closer to It. Whatever *It* is.

In šaʾ Allāh — God willing

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You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.

June 16, 2007

“You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.” Nietzsche

I was clearing emails when I noticed this tagline — it resonated with me.

A dear friend once said that opportunity always stands at my door, and that my greatest dilemma is choosing. Another friend has always said, seize the moment do not let these opportunities slip. So what does one do when faced with an array of choices that can advance one particular path over another? Is it about choice or is it about destiny?

Given this insight into what I feel has been a very fruitful life journey, I feel privileged and protected. I have been brazen, rash and burnt. Yet, like a phoenix rising, I am able to renew this valuable fountain of life with love, faith, and courage. But I have not done this alone — I am surrounded by amazing people who have shared a part of their journey with me. I am so fortunate to have so many people teach me valuable lessons and give me immeasureable strength during times of tremendous loss and vulnerability. Thank you, my friends — for teaching, sharing and touching my life in so many ways.

I connect this immense feeling of gratitude, solemnity and hopefulness with the acknowledgement that all lessons, great or small are meant to challenge and nurture our growth.

Although many opportunities stand before us, choosing is not the dilemma. By closing one door, one will inevitably always open a new one. Chaos is the key to fulfilling dreams that remain unseen and unsung.

As such, the cavernous depths of pain create a vessel that is just as capable of holding deep emotions of joy.

For this reason I try not to fight. I throw my hands up and say, “give in”. Give in to the pain so that you can give in to the joy.

And this my friends, is why Nietzsche spoke to me this morning.

“You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star..” Nietzsche

Know Thyself!

May 31, 2007

“Whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap.”

There are three departments of the mind, the subconscious, conscious and superconscious. The subconscious, is simply power, without direction. It is like steam or electricity, and it does what it is directed to do; it has no power of induction.

Whatever man feels deeply or images clearly, is impressed upon the subconscious mind, and carried out in minutest detail.

The conscious mind has been called mortal or carnal mind.
It is the human mind and sees life as it appears to be. It sees death, disaster, sickness, poverty and limitation of every kind, and it impresses the subconscious.

The superconscious mind is the God Mind within each man, and is the realm of perfect ideas.

In it, is the “perfect pattern” spoken of by Plato, The Divine Design; for there is a Divine Design for each person.

“There is a place that you are to fill and no one else can fill, something you are to do, which noone else can do.”

Many people, however, are in ignorance of their true destinies and are striving for things and situations which do not belong to them, and would only bring failure and dissatisfaction if attained.

There is always plenty on man’s pathway; but it can only be brought into manifestation through desire, faith or the spoken word. Jesus Christ brought out clearly that man must make the first move.

“Ask, and it shall be given you, seek, and ye shall find, knock, and it shall be opened unto you. (Mat. 7:7)

Every desire, uttered or unexpressed, is a demand. We are often startled by having a wish suddenly fulfilled. Be careful of what you wish for, and be conscious of its genesis, is it a right idea or a wrong one? Consciousness of habit and heart is important.

Nothing stands between man and his highest ideals and every desire of his heart, but doubt and fear. When man can “wish without worrying,” every desire will be instantly fulfilled.

The object of the game of life is to see clearly one’s good and to obliterate all mental pictures of evil. This must be done by impressing the subconscious mind with a realization of good.

So let us break all the old bad records in the subconscious mind, the records of our lives which we do not wish to keep, and make new and beautiful ones.

~ Florence Scovel Shinn